So When Does People Watching Become Creepy?

So when does people watching change from you just sitting there to you becoming all creepy? I was thinking about this for some reason as I was watching The Perfect Storm. The movie wasn’t that great which is probably why my mind is wandering even more than usual. Epic music swelled at really weird moments to try and bring you into the story but the actors could not realistically portray what a fisherman lifestyle is really like. And they end up shooting a Great White shark with a shotgun when they accidentally pull it aboard, like wtf? Jaws’ baby cousin Benny just got executed by George Clooney. However…..if you would like a slightly dramaticized but incredibly well done view of a crab fisherman’s life I would recommend checking out the series Deadlist Catch. Right now all seven seasons are streamable on Netflix. Seriously – they are some of the best mullets in the business.

I think the reason that the idea of people watching came up is that the weather is turning into something more approaching early summer than mid-March. We are forecast to have upper 70’s by Wednesday which is just surreal. When it is nice out sometimes I will go and sit and just watch the world go by. Oftentimes Otis Redding’s “(Sittin’ on) the Dock of the Bay” is my mental soundtrack as I read or crochet or just sort of stare aimlessly at things.

But at what point does this behavior become creepy? Is it when you make eye contact for too long with someone? Is it when somebody else reacts like you sitting there is making them uncomfortable? Maybe my face just scares small children? These are questions to which I do not know the answers. Not like it’s going to stop me though. *stares*

P.S. I received a visit from several house sparrows. Of course they didn’t stay long enough for me to get a picture, but here is where they would have been sitting had I been fast enough.

Why Ben Kingsley, why?!?

Within the last couple of weeks I have developed a sort of sick fascination with the works of Uwe Boll, a German director notorious for making bad movies which are often adaptations of video games. Some examples of his work are House of the Dead, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, and Postal. I blame this fascination on the Yeah It’s That Bad guys.

Today for some ungodly reason unbeknowst to me I decided to start watching an Uwe Boll movie marathon. Well, it’s a marathon insomuch as it consists of the movies that I can stream instantly through Netflix. I could go into the whole why-I-only-pay-for-streaming-instead-of-also-movie-discs but I think everyone is pretty much aware of Netflix’s unbelievably stupid business decision to increase their prices. When that whole debacle took place I decided to only purchase movie streaming and haven’t looked back since. But I digress.

For my first Uwe Boll movie of choice this afternoon I decided to watch Bloodrayne which is based on a videogame of the same name. I’m saying marathon but I truly do not know how many movies I will actually make it through before I’ll be forced to give myself a cinematic enema to relieve the horrible pressure of Boll-poisoning.

The opening credits were probably the best part of this movie – let me just say that up front. There were cool snippets of scenes in a nice vampire-y sepia overlay that tried to lure me into thinking that this was going to be a better movie than what the reviews said. Suddenly the name “Ben Kingsley” floated past on the screen. OMG. Until Ben’s name flashed across the screen I had completely forgotten that he was in this movie at which point I promptly screamed “Why Ben Kingsley, why?!?” How somebody of his acting caliber would ever willingly participate in a Boll-tastrophy is beyond me. Now I have to say that when my first reaction to the movie is to scream at the television I knew that I was in for a hell of a ride. All of this happened within the first five minutes of me pushing play on my controller by the way.

I think I could sum up this movie in one word: blood. There was blood everywhere. Spurting blood, gushing blood, fountains of blood all over the place. The people in this movie acted like pressurized balloons filled with blood that at the slightest touch would erupt into a crimson expulsion three feet high. I actually lol’d several times while watching this even though I was by myself in my apartment. Uwe Boll must have used several hundred gallons of fake blood to get this special effects the way that he wanted them.

There was no plot, no discernible story, no character development. There was nothing that made me give two shits about anyone in this movie, human or vampire or Dhampir. I did freak out for a second time though when Meatloaf showed up as a minor vampire lord with a harem of a half dozen naked women all lounging around on a pimp-sized bed. *shudder* So not ok. My mind will never be clean again. Behold what you will never be able to un-see!!

All in all I got what I expected from this movie which was a whole lotta nothing. However, this movie does seem to fall into that magical category of It’s So Bad That It’s Funny and I would recommend that you watch it if you are in need of a good laugh.

Overall grade: D+

P.S. I’m now on the Final Storm and it must truly be something special because I didn’t realize that Luke Perry’s character was named Silas until 20+ minutes into the movie. Clearly I am emotionally invested in his character.